When your teen tests curfews, argues about screen time, or pushes back against safety rules, it can feel like you’re constantly walking a tightrope between maintaining peace and standing your ground.
Many parents we work with are navigating big challenges — teens sneaking out, skipping school, experimenting with substances, or spending way too much time online.
These moments can be hard as a parent. It is also a sign that boundaries are being tested, blurred, or may need to be clarified.
The good news? It’s not too late to set (or reset) boundaries — and to do it in a way that strengthens your relationship with your teen
Why do boundaries matter?
Boundaries aren’t about control. They’re about connection and safety.
Clear and consistent boundaries help your teen feel secure, even if they grumble about them. Boundaries also model respect, responsibility, and the art of negotiation—all skills that will serve them well into adulthood.
When families set boundaries together, everyone feels more seen, heard, and understood. And when boundaries are rooted in shared values, they’re more likely to stick. [Check out our other blog on setting family rules and boundaries – When families set boundaries together]
Parent Survival Tip 👉
Get your teen’s buy-in when setting boundaries.
One of the biggest shifts we encourage parents to make is this: Set boundaries with your teen and not for them.
When teens are included in the process — when they have a voice and input — they’re far more likely to follow through. Here’s how you can make that happen:
1. Agree on the terms together
It’s easier to say, “We agreed on this,” than to enforce rules they never agreed to.
2. Be clear on what’s negotiable and what’s not
For example, safety boundaries are non-negotiable, like underage drinking or unsupervised online use. (Did you know: 89% of parents say no to underage drinking.)
3. Talk through consequences — and stick to them
What feels fair? Choose consequences that make sense to everyone, and you need to follow through every time.
Discuss, don’t dictate.
We know the temptation — when things get messy, it’s easy to want to clamp down harder or, sometimes, just give up. But remember this: Discuss it. Don’t dictate. And it’s ok to say no.
The goal isn’t perfection — it’s progress. And every time you take a step toward connection, collaboration, and consistency, you’re doing something powerful for your teen and your family. You’re doing better than you think.
We encourage you to check out our blog post on handling pushback when setting safe boundaries with your teen. Click here: Setting boundaries with your teen, without the battle.
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