As our teens seek to spread their wings, it’s only natural for them to want to dip their toes into the social scene.
Parties can be an opportunity for your teenager to socialize and explore their independence.
And as much as we want to be understanding parents, we also can’t help but worry about their safety when attending a party. You may have questions about who is attending, who is supervising, and if alcohol will be provided. (Times have changed!)
To help prepare you, we have gathered a few key tips for a safe party season for your teen.
And with the following tips, there is no right or wrong – we are all doing our best. If you are reading this, YOU CARE about your teen.
The party dilemma as a parent/carer
When your teen gets invited to a party for the first time, it can be an exciting time for the teen and potentially a difficult time for you as you are faced with deciding what approach you take. There is no right or wrong way – just something to consider and explore as your teen gets older and you have more experience.
Scenario 1: The Firm (Strict) Approach
Your teen might be invited to a party with alcohol, and you’re contemplating the ‘no-go’ decision. You’re not comfortable at all with your teen going to a party with alcohol there. While saying no means it might avoid the drama that could occur at the party, it could however lead your teen to resent you, or your teen might sneak out anyway.
Scenario 2: The Middle Ground Approach
You allow your teen to go, but set alcohol boundaries. Perhaps you suggest they only have 2 glasses of alcohol; that they call for help if things get messy. You never know your teen might end up avoiding the drama altogether.
Scenario 3: Trust and Responsibility
This is the more trusting approach. You permit your teen to take their own drinks (these days it tends to be the mixers) but you leave your teen with clear instructions. This is about trusting them to follow the rules and knowing the consequences. This means that your teen can have a great time without any unnecessary drama.
A safe party – tips for you and your teen
Contact Information is Important
Always get the host’s number and name if your teen is attending a party, especially if your teen is underage.
Adult Presence is Non-Negotiable
If there isn’t a parent present at the party, reconsider letting your teen attend. It rarely ends well without supervision.
Set a Non-Negotiable End Time
No matter how much teens push boundaries, the end time is non-negotiable. A clear no is the best policy
Permission for Underage Drinking
If your teen will be at a party with alcohol, ensure you have the parent’s name, number, and permission for your teen to drink, if they’re underage. Check your local state laws and guidelines regarding the supply of alcohol.
For example, in Victoria “it is It is illegal for a child (person under 18 years of age) to consume alcohol unless the child is in the company of a responsible adult, who is either the child’s parent or guardian, or has the consent of the child’s parent or guardian.”
Each parent will make their own decision. We just recommend that you’re across your legal responsibilities, no matter your decision.
Stick to Cans and Mixers, no bottles allowed.
Make it clear: no bottles. Opt for cans and mixers to avoid glass breakage and the sneaky arrival of vodka bottles for shots. This helps keep things under control and avoids potential issues.
Food is Essential
Encourage your teen to eat before they go to the party and if not, give them something to take along (even if it’s a bag of chips). It’s important to have a full stomach especially when alcohol is involved.
Look Out for Friends
Teach your teen the importance of looking out for their friends. No one should be left in a vulnerable situation especially when leaving the party at the end of the night. Discuss a clear plan with your teen for getting home – this is crucial.
Teach About Consent
Starting from an early age, talk to your teens about consent. Alcohol can complicate things and consent can be an issue when teens have a few drinks. Especially if the big V has been at the party – a vodka bottle!
Always Have a Plan B
Encourage your teen to have a plan B and to reach out to you if things go south. Michelle has worked out a signal if it’s time for a rescue from the party – it’s the “poo emoji”! No words are needed in the text. If Michelle sees it, she knows to go get her teen. This way they’re not embarrassed in front of their friends.
Remember, parenting teens is all about finding that delicate balance between trust and guidance. By staying engaged, open-minded, and supportive, we can help our teenagers navigate the party scene while keeping their safety front and centre.
Trust your instincts and do take the time to speak openly with your teen about the decisions, no matter what they are.
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