If you’re feeling overwhelmed at the moment—perhaps emotionally drained from everything that’s going on with your teen and life in general—you’re not alone.
Right now, it’s exhausting, especially when you’re already dealing with your own stress. The last thing you need is another slammed door or snappy comeback.
When your teen’s moods are unpredictable or their behaviour seems disrespectful, it’s tempting to either shut it down or give in. However, there’s a better way.
We’ll show you 3 practical steps that can help you respond to your teen in a way that builds connection rather than conflict.
This is part 2 of our 3-part series that breaks down the three most important things we know can help you right now. Especially if you’re experiencing overwhelm with your teen.
In Part 1 of this series, we explored how to manage your own overwhelm, as you can’t pour from an empty cup. Part 3 examines why there’s so much overwhelm – what’s happening with your teen right now.
1. Understand the big feelings
Teenagers are emotionally intense—and not just because of hormones. Their brains are still developing, their identities are forming, and they often feel everything at full volume.
They may not know how to express it, but underneath the eye rolls and door slams are often feelings of fear, pressure, loneliness, or frustration.
Instead of reacting to the behaviour, try asking yourself: What’s really going on here?
Is my teen tired? Anxious? Embarrassed? Sometimes, just naming the emotion helps reduce its power.
2. Look at your own response first
When you’re already stretched thin, it’s easy to snap. That’s normal—but it’s also an opportunity.
Take a breath before reacting. Notice your own triggers. Are you feeling unappreciated? Powerless?
This is where you can model emotional awareness. It’s not about being perfect—it means showing your teen how to stay steady when things get rough.
Even saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed; I need a few minutes before we talk,” teaches your teen that emotions are something we can manage—not something we have to act out.
3. Connect before you correct
This is where, before you set a boundary or try to teach a lesson, build the bridge first.
Your teen is more likely to listen when they feel acknowledged. Try saying: “It seems like you’re really frustrated with how school is going right now. Want to talk about it?”
There will be times when your teen doesn’t open up right away. And that’s okay. Don’t push.
Remember that your response isn’t about needing to fix everything for your teen. Allow the conversation to unfold with empathy and understanding of where they are. Help them work it out themselves.
And if there is a correction, a lesson there, it’s important that the connection comes first. Then the correction doesn’t have to be a battle.
When your teen is pushing away, connection is still possible.
Parenting through the teen years can be challenging—but with the right tools, you don’t have to feel like you’re barely surviving. If you are reading this, you are already capable and are already doing something that’s helping you and your teen to better connect.
Now you’ve got the tools to pause, tune in, and connect before correcting. But why does everything feel so much heavier right now—like you’re running on empty, all the time?
NEXT UP: We unpack why there is so much overwhelm for parents right now. What’s going on with our teens?
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