We recently came across an article mentioning caregivers as ‘askable adults’. It was about parents and caregivers being someone their child can come to, to ask a question no matter how awkward and or shocking. While the term ‘askable adult’ is commonly associated with discussions on drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.., it also refers to being someone who is an open and safe channel of communication for their child.
Being an ‘askable adult’ involves creating a safe and non-judgmental space. This is so your teen has a place where they’re free to express their feelings without fear of criticism or punishment. Your teen is in a time where they’re trying to understand who they are. It’s about exploration, self-discovery and growth.
As parents, it’s natural for us to have strong opinions and reactions about certain things, but here’s where it’s essential to suspend judgment.
When your teen seeks you out and confides in you, hold back on the urge to critique or dismiss their feelings or jump in with solutions.
They might come to you with a topic that could be challenging for you to hear. The suggestion is to listen. Be fully present and lean in with curiosity.
Listen. Ask questions that explore, rather than interrogate. Be that ‘askable adult’.
Try this practice throughout the week ahead
When you’re with your teen and there’s a conversation about an issue or concern they have, or even about their day at school, try these steps:
- Listen.
- Ask questions with curiosity. Don’t offer your opinion or solutions.
- Empathise. For example: “…That must have been hard to hear that from your friend.”
And that’s it. Nothing more. Try this practice out this week. Even if it’s one time. You’ve got this!
Want these tips and content like this, straight to your inbox?
Subscribe to our weekly parenting tips. It’s only once a week. No spamming. Only helpful information.