It’s official: vapes are now illegal in Australia without a prescription.
But we’ve been hearing a lot lately from parents that this hasn’t stopped teens from vaping and sourcing them. In fact, many have shifted to alternatives like Snus or Penjamin. These are products that are marketed to young people, are highly addictive, and are hard to quit.
If you’ve discovered your teen is vaping (or using Snus or Penjamin), it’s normal to feel worried — or even angry.
But how you respond can make all the difference.
As a parent, it’s natural to want to jump in with concern: “I know you’re vaping. You need to stop. It’s bad for you.”
But often, this kind of confrontation can shut down the conversation. Your teen might give you a blank stare, a nod, or a quick “Okay, I’ll stop” — until the next time.
At Parent Connections, we know that conversations about substances like vaping need more than just warnings. They need connection, calm, and compassion — even when you’re worried or frustrated.
Here are 3 ways to respond that work (the Parent Connections approach).
1. Understand what’s beneath the habit
Instead of focusing only on the behaviour, be aware of the emotion driving it. Teens often vape to cope with stress, fit in, or relax.
Instead of saying, “Just stop,” try asking your teen:
“What’s going on when you feel the urge to vape?”
“Is it boredom, pressure, stress, or something else?“
This approach can help your teen develop emotional awareness around what’s going on. This is a first step in changing behaviour.
You’re not just telling them what to do or to stop doing something; you’re helping them build the skills to handle life differently.
How do I do this?
- Talk about managing cravings and what triggers them.
- Help your teen notice the patterns in their use.
- Plan ahead for withdrawal symptoms and emotional lows.
2. Stay Calm When It Matters Most
This is where you need to regulate yourself first.
It’s tempting to react with panic, anger, or disappointment. But how you respond can set the tone for what comes next.
Take a breath before responding. And ask yourself:
“What does my teen need from me right now — fear or support?”
When you stay regulated (calm and in control), your teen is more likely to listen. And they’re less likely to go into shutdown or defensiveness.
How do I do this?
- Avoid leading with accusations. (Take that breath first – step away for a moment if you need to).
- Don’t take it personally — this is about their struggle, not your failure.
- If you’re emotional, delay the talk and come back to it later with a cooler head.
3. Build Trust First
At Parent Connections, we call this the “Connect before you correct” approach.
Your teen will only be open to change if they feel safe with you.
Connection doesn’t mean approval — it means understanding. You might start with your teen by saying:
“I get that this might help you feel less stressed.”
Listen. Then move to boundaries and support:
“But it’s also not safe, and I want to help you find other ways to cope.”
How do I do this?
- Let them know you’re on their side, even when guiding them in a new direction.
- Talk about other options to stop, like gum, lozenges or patches. Without making it a big deal. Click here for more info on ways to help your teen quit.
- Plan a pizza night or a chill evening during tough withdrawal days or times when you know you’re teen might be overwhelmed at school like exam or assignment time.
The bottom line:
We believe that helping your teen quit vaping isn’t just about saying “don’t” or “stop”. It’s about:
- Being aware of their emotional world and where they’re at.
- Managing your own reactions.
- Leading the conversation and your teen with understanding and support.
At Parent Connections, we don’t just teach theory — we give you tools to respond to real-life situations, like vaping, in ways that build connection and lasting change.
If you’d like more support and weekly strategies you can actually use, sign up for our free weekly parenting tips newsletter or join one of our upcoming workshops.
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