This week we look at how to provide support for your teen during potentially stressful times. This could be an exam period, transitioning to something new like a year level, or perhaps it’s a busy schedule full of activities and commitments.
Our parenting tip is the power of a whiteboard, a pen and a mental map.
Mental map
A mental map involves you having an idea of your teen’s daily life and understanding their routine. This is especially helpful during demanding times for your teen.
What’s the point of creating a mental map?
The great thing about having a mental map is that you can offer your support proactively rather than trying to help after a situation occurs.
For example, if we know about when exams are coming up, we can understand that our teen may be spending more energy and focus on studying and feeling stressed, on edge and even irritable. Knowing this, we can be aware, check in and see if they need some extra support.
Balancing support and control
But it’s important that we avoid being over-controlling and yet know just enough about our teen’s daily life to be able to help support our young person. This is not about needing to micro-manage. Understanding your teen’s schedule helps provide support without being intrusive. This also helps your teen know you are there for them and are understanding.
Here’s what it can look like:
What we do with our teen daughters is use a whiteboard placed on the fridge. There’s a calendar on the whiteboard with the week ahead.
This way there is no nagging, but rather the board is visible, as you go to check the fridge. It has the schedule for the week ahead. Include everyone’s main activities, not just your teens.
You can also include little reminders, like posting a note saying, “Remember popcorn for movie night“. This way, when the stress is high, everyone can stay on track and the unexpected explosions are minimised!
It’s a great tool to help with maintaining family harmony and being active in your teen’s life without being intrusive.
Have a go at your own whiteboard and mental map. It’s a great way to be supportive of your teen, especially during busy and stressful times. Plus it’s another tool to help improve your relationship.
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